7 Things to Know about Therapy and Therapists, Written by a Therapist

by Maddie Purpura

You don’t have to be broken to go to therapy, and you’re also never too broken to heal.

Therapy doesn’t always have to be a last resort, you don’t have to be drowning or in active crisis in order to go to therapy. Sometimes people go to therapy to make sure they are on the right track, work on maintaining healthy relationships, or just to get ahead of a stressor before it gets too bad. However, if you do feel like you are drowning and beyond help, know that you are capable of healing. You are never “too broken” to heal.

You don’t have to show up as anything other than what you’re feeling that day, even if it’s sad. You’re enough and you’re welcomed even when you’re not your best self.

I often hear from clients that they feel bad for being in a bad mood that day or feel bad for not being their best self. Its important to know that you can be whatever you are feeling with your therapist. Therapy is most effective when you can show up as your authentic self.

Therapists may not always have the answer but they can always hold space for you.

Sometimes therapists don’t have the answer you might be looking for, in fact, there are some therapists that steer clear of advice-giving and focus on being a supportive figure to help you find your own answers. Our job as therapists is to hold space for what you are going through, and sometimes that is even more helpful than problem-solving with you.

Therapists genuinely value and care for you.

Ever wonder if your therapist thinks about you or if they enjoy their time with you as much as you might enjoy time with them? The answer is probably yes! The relational aspect of therapy is so important. This may be our job, but that doesn’t mean you are just someone in our office that enters and leaves our mind when you come and go out the door. We truly care about you as a person.

Therapists have many different styles, it’s ok if you have to go through a few before finding the best fit.

Therapists come from different backgrounds and trainings which influence the way they go about the therapeutic process. Its ok if you start meeting with a therapist and realize that it might not be a good fit
for you. Therapists want you to have your needs met, we wont take it personally if we are not the one for you. Before starting therapy, try to ask yourself what you’re looking for in a therapist, what you want to get out of therapy, and whether or not their therapeutic modality would meet those needs.

Therapists will be there for you in whatever stage of healing you’re at.

Sometimes we know what we need to do, but just aren’t ready to do it yet. Sometimes we know there is trauma to process, but we are not ready to dive head first into it all. Sometimes we need a lot of time to build trust with a therapist before discussing the heavy stuff. Whatever stage of change you are in, your therapist will support you. It is important to find the balance of being “met where you are at” and also challenged in a way that keeps you moving toward healing.

Even though we are the ones in the chair, we are human too. Therapists have often gone through their own stuff, that’s what makes them want to be there for you.

I cant think of a therapist out there who has entered this profession and not gone through something hard themselves. Most of the time, therapists have had their own experiences with the issues that they help others with. Many of us are healers that have experienced healing or are still working on it. Therapists go to therapy too!