Domestic Violence: Raising Awareness.

by Jessica Courser Downs

As the leaves turn and we embrace the beauty of autumn, October reminds us that it's Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This month serves as an opportunity to shine a light on the issue of domestic violence and raise awareness.

My Journey

I became passionate about domestic violence awareness in college when I joined an organization focused on this issue. Back then, I didn’t fully understand what domestic violence was. I assumed it only affected women who were beaten and bleeding in emergency rooms. In reality, domestic violence can be silent, happen anywhere, and affect anyone. Statistically, one in four women and one in nine men are victims of domestic violence. It can occur in any relationship—from young love to couples who have been together for over fifty years. This realization was completely different from what I thought I knew.
Recently, a woman in Texas, who was part of the same organization I was in college, lost her life when her partner strangled her during an altercation. She was a mother of two and pregnant with their third. #ForChrista

Understanding Domestic Violence

Many who experience domestic violence feel isolated and may hide their abuse, thinking it’s "normal."
What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in an intimate relationship used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another. It can take many forms:
- Physical Abuse: Hitting, slapping, or causing physical harm.
- Emotional Abuse: Manipulation, intimidation, and verbal attacks that undermine self-esteem.
- Sexual Abuse: Coercing or forcing a partner into sexual acts without consent.
- Financial Abuse: Controlling a partner's financial resources or restricting access to money or work.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), in the United States, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner. Domestic violence is a leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. These are alarming statistics, highlighting the need to recognize the signs and symptoms.

Signs of Domestic Violence

Physical Signs

• Unexplained injuries or bruises
• Frequent visits to the doctor or emergency room
• Signs of restraint (e.g., marks on wrists)
• Wearing clothing that conceals injuries (even in warm weather)

Emotional and Behavioral Signs

• Low self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness
• Increased anxiety or depression
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Changes in behavior (e.g., becoming more submissive)
• Fear of conflict or frequent apologizing

Control and Isolation

• Monitoring or controlling the victim’s movements
• Limited access to money or personal belongings
• Isolation from friends and family
• Frequent criticism or belittling

Threats and Coercion

• Threats of physical harm to the victim or loved ones
• Manipulation or intimidation tactics
• Ultimatums regarding personal choices (e.g., work, friendships)

Other Indicators

• Frequent absences from work or school
• Sudden changes in personal habits (e.g., sleep, eating)
• Financial dependence on the abuser
• Signs of emotional distress (e.g., crying, mood swings)

Supporting Survivors

To support survivors of domestic violence, we must listen without judgment. If someone confides in you, validate their feelings and avoid blaming them. They may be scared or make excuses for their partner because they genuinely care about them. Encourage professional help and offer to assist them in finding a therapist or support group. In some cases, creating a safety plan may be necessary, discussing safe places to go and trusted individuals to contact. It’s important to note that 60-75% of domestic violence survivors may return to their abuser at some point. As friends and family, we must understand this isn’t a sign of weakness but part of a cycle.
The Cycle of Abuse:
- Tension Building: Increased stress and arguments.
- Violence: The abusive incident occurs.
- Reconciliation: The abuser feels sorry and promises to change, and the survivor may believe in this hopeful part of their partner.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is not just a time for reflection but a call to action. By raising awareness, supporting survivors, and advocating for change, we can work toward a society where everyone feels safe in their relationships. Let’s take this opportunity to educate ourselves and each other, stand in solidarity with survivors, and contribute to a future free from violence.

Together, we can make a difference.